We’re living in trying times, and the challenges don’t seem to stop coming. How to keep cool when it’s hot out, there’s an infectious virus, and even no power? People keep hoping for the time when life “returns to normal.” However, there may be no “normal” to return to. Many businesses have folded, people have moved away, and cities are left half empty. Our lives have been deeply upended. And the changes keep coming.

It is in this context that I’d like to share some of the most useful tools I’ve learned in my 20 years as a therapist.

1) The first is the Paradox of Change.

It says: the more we try to change things, the more they stay the same. This means that the more we resist our current experience, the more stuck we feel about it. The more energy we put into complaining, wishing for the past, or feeling sad that we’re in a pandemic, the more likely we’ll stay unhappy.

Try saying out loud: I fully accept the way things are. Accepting things as they are freed up your energy to notice new opportunities. For example, when PG&E cut off the power this March 2020, photographer Oliver Klink suggested, “This is a great time to practice your night photography!" Indeed, the newly blackened neighborhoods allowed the stars to shine brighter than before. You can enjoy his photos here, featured above.

2) Islands of Peace
Sometimes the changes are unrelenting, and it can feel overwhelming. This is when it’s crucial to notice the brief interludes between the moments of chaos. Check right here, right now, is there anything bad happening? Even if it’s only 2 minutes in between struggles with your children, your spouse, or your boss, it can still be a break.

When under duress, we often plan or anticipate the next onslaught of stress. However, this type of future-thinking skips over the current moment, which could be a moment of peace. The beloved Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh reminds us, “Breathing in, I am present. Breathing out, I am calm.” If you are able to pause in your day and do this exercise, you can then enjoy this Island of Peace.

3) The first 2 tips were about awareness and shifting our focus and attention. The last tip is about inducing a state of calm into your body. I often do this with clients when they feel either too stressed to think or when they feel too numb to feel. I invite you to try this simple breathing/sounding tool with me.

Watch the video below:

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Website:
https://www.mindfullivinginc.com/

Email: hello@mindfullivinginc.com

Phone number:
(415) 890-3791

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